butter, oil, vanilla, sugar, flour, baking soda, salt & a myriad of other junk.  Mixer, 2 bowls, 2 pans, spray, dish towels. Dirty kitchen, trash, flour on the floor, and now the overeating.  What do I do with 25-30 cookies & how do I limit how many Chloe has? Fro the next 3 days, I have to ration to her, but I eat extra when she is sleeping or at school.  Then the guilt, needing to work the calories off, bc I don’t want my stomach to be any uglier than it is. Why did I even make cookies at all? What a stupid idea & waste of time…I could have been doing housework or laundry, or cleaning out the garbage cans or base boards in the bathrooms. I could have been sweeping the porch, cleaning the front door, cleaning cobwebs in the garage.

Sitting in CCU, there’s no comparison what I would rather be doing.  Teaching Chloe measurements, how to stir, watch her stick her finger in the bowl at every ingredient, and smearing the batter on each other’s faces, laughing until we were choking, having 5 dirty dish cloths of fun. And a basket full of fun filled paper towels.  It’s sad I have to have IVs in each arm, oxygen supply, blood drawn every 2-4 hours, 5 leads monitoring my heart. . . I think it’s no comparison when I heal and get home. Cookies and laughing win over cleaning trash cans.

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