My Heart is Still Beating

I have been so discouraged with my recovery. It is so slow. It’s been 7 weeks. I take 25 pills a day, I take almost an hour to get ready – and I am not straightening my hair or wearing nice clothes. I can’t pick up my son or change his diaper. I have water weight to lose.  I want to se friends, but am too afraid of getting sick.  I cry every evening or whenever I feel lonely. 

I am a different person now; but haven’t figured out who that is. Everyone encourages me, tells me I am doing great, making progress.  I have feelings of fear, envy, jealousy, depression, and unbelief in God.

But all through this time, I know my God is with me; and I know my heart is still beating. My nails are pink and I can breathe easier.

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