Showing Thankfulness, When You Are Struggling to Live One Day At A Time

You’ve made it through Thanksgiving (maybe you have the in-laws or another Thanksgiving celebration to go to this extended weekend). Between the food, friends, family, football, and Black Friday, everyone seems happy, joyful, delighted and thankful. In the depths of depression, it is difficult to join in and there are times, I feel like I am performing and even though I can be surrounded by people, I can be lonely.

This is the time I have to write out what I am thankful for and sometimes we write it out as a family. It can start out simple – air. After being on a ventilator, I am VERY thankful I can breath on my own and eat and drink whatever I want.  Clean water – access to it all the time. Medicine – even with side effects, medicine daily saves my life. My doctors. Shoes. Hair (after the transplants I lost my hair) and it’s grown back Heat. Clothing. Running water.

Then I go to the people in my life. then, most importantly, to my God and Who He is and His unchanging character.

After my transplants or any significant event in your life (wedding, birth or loss of a child, surgery, moving, a marriage separation or divorce, etc.), there seems to be an acceptable amount of time society thinks you need help, prayers, one on one visits, your grass cut ( you get the idea) and you should be recovered.

However, a mood disorder, that is something most people dismiss or don’t know what to say. Some people do, and will remain faithful in keeping up with you, holding you account spiritually, socially, and making sure you are taking care of yourself. Cherish those friendships, invest time and care into them, make time to pray with them or ask them to pray for you when you are too depressed to pray for yourself.

Don’t try to fake it so much, holidays are not all joyous without drawbacks, But you can start making a thankful list and see how blessed you are. Take advantage of the sunshine, give to others and push yourself to make your thankful list as long as possible.

Recognizing Depression

The topic of depression is talked about often in our society. Prescription drugs to fight depression are advertised on television, magazines, and pamphlets in physician’s offices. News stories are easy to spot at all major television networks, print, and online. Even our children say they are depressed after a day at school when they have been teased or bullied.

I started showing signs of depression in 2003, years before my heart failure. I didn’t know these signs and was suffering for a while before I could get professional help. My family misunderstood me and it would cause conflicts and many hurtful words were exchanged on both sides. Meanwhile, a lot was happening physically, chemically, and emotionally inside of me.

There are many depressive disorders, also referred to as affective or mood disorders. Researching these with the guidance of a therapist and a psychiatrist helped me tremendously. Some common early signs of clinical depression can include: mood of sadness, despair, or emptiness; the loss of the ability to experience pleasure (Anhedonia); low self-esteem; apathy, low motivation, and social withdrawal; excessive emotional sensitivity; negative, pessimistic thinking; irritability; suicidal ideas.

Some depression facts include: Suicide rate for patients with major depression is 9%; 18 million people per year suffer from major depression in the United States; the incidence of depression ratio of women to men is 2:1; Only 50% of Americans who suffer a bout of depression will seek treatment. Treatment can be effective up to 80% of depressed patients. *

When I started seeking help from my primary care physician, it was a catastrophe. I highly suggest seeking help from a medical professional – a therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist or a combination of a therapist and a psychiatrist or psychologist.  Therapists and psychologists cannot prescribe medication. However, a good therapist will be well versed in psychotropic medications.

If you suspect you or someone close to you may be suffering from a depressive disorder, seek professional help right away.

 

*Handbook of Clinical Psychopharmacology for Therapists, 6th Edition

How Not To Help A Sufferer

If you experience any type of mood disorder, I can pretty much bet that you have heard all kinds of advice. I live in the Bible Belt of the United States, grew up in a Baptist home, attended a conservative Christian university and all too quickly people are eager to throw out Bible verses to me.

I truly believe the Bible is inspired by God, the authority on His redemption plan for man, and teaches how Christians (those who accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and follow Him). However, I ALSO believe the best way to combat depression or mood disorders is a 3 pronged approach: (1) Christian based therapy on a regular basis (2) Regular help with a psychiatrist or psychologist (3) Medication when the exam shows the need for it, especially if the brain or heart has been disrupted.

Below is a link from the Christian Coalition on How Not to Help a Sufferer. I have had all of these comments said to me by either family members or close friends who at the time, did not understand one thing about depression.

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/how-not-to-help-a-sufferer/